Defy Gravity
Oh yeah, 2D platformer, just like I've always loved. Finally I've got access to a computer, as I unnecessarily bought a new one, which I don't even think as is good as my new one, I'll get my old one fixed anyway but, honestly, I might return this one (if I can) and stick with the old one (if it's got enough RAM to run Xcom, which this has). The point I'm getting at is this is one of my 19, or maybe 39p (I can't remember now) Steam purchases, which I wasn't really sure I'd ever play, and who can turn that down, especially since I bought it with those pointless Steam trading cards that I don't even understand the existence of. Oh yeah, I was supposed to be talking about the game, not stewing bullshit (or was I?).
So, 2d platformer as I said, it's about 1 1/2 hours long (a bit of a cheat I know) and it's passable at best. Essentially you get a gravity gone, one that sucks and one that blows gravity wells. You use this to climb walls. dodge bullets and solve simple puzzles. Your character moves as well as Marcus Phoenix and you can run of flippin' ammo (god this Jagermeister and Robinsons squash is awful (who'd have thought?)) and doesn't have a counter to how many shots you've used, which can be mighty annoying hen you can't jump the very last wall (top tip developers, put a shot counter in). As I implied. it's not hard and very short, but for the price I can't really moan but I'd recommend you give it a miss even at that price, sorry.
Cibele
Speaking of 19-39p short Steam games that suck, meat Cibele, a half live action, half awful playable game. Heck, she's, only even even average looking (sorry actress), which I'm not saying is a bad thing (I wish I was average looking (not looking for sympathy btw)) but given the dialogue it really doesn't fit. It's about young love and it's trash. What's worse is that it's created by someone who worked on Gone home, which is an outstanding game, so even though that sets a high expectation, this doesn't live up to it.
I'm noticing I'm just talking about how crap this game is without really explains what it is, so better do that. The main idea is that an online MMO has swept the world (almost as big as WOW), which you even get to play (that's the gameplay element), which is simply walking around a map and hitting things that don't even hit back, which frankly is a relief as I could barely stand it for the whole 61 minutes I played it for (according to Steam) and didn't want to add more time replaying after deaths. You also have to manage this girls social media by pressing the 'reply' button every 2 minutes, but this doesn't actually impact the plot in any way. That plot being you've met some guy who also plays this game and you fall in love, though he's not really bothered about meeting you, despite you saying you love each other a million times.
That paragraph was getting long so I figured I start a new one even though this is going to carry straight on. The cut scenes are essentially you watching her on the phone to this guy talking to him, which just happens during the gameplay anyway, and watching her sitting at her computer playing the game, which you're thankfully not in control of. Anyway, ending is (spoilers (oh no!)) you meet after months of talking, bang, then he leaves and says he's not really in love with you, and never wants to see you again. that's it, cool story bro (or sis in this game). I way prefer criticising games than praising the, it's way more fun, shame about what's coming up next then. Here's a picture of the gameplay anyway, but it doesn't do any justice to how awful it is, an yes, those pink things are the enemies. Tip, it's not worth 19-39p, in fact, I should have been paid to play it!
Oxenfree
Here's the much talked about 3rd game, and it's actually a new game this time! It's an adventure game is the first thing to say, where the game is essentially making a series of conversation decisions while exploring an island. The thing that makes it so special is the insane story. It's full of evil spirits, alternate dimensions and time loops and more along those lines. Your conversations do matter too, despite the fact you're going to the island to get hammered with friends (it's just off the coast, not like some Lost island) you can really mess up your relationships with them which leads to some bad mojo and deaths galore. The story is branching of course, with a great array of endings (looked the others up) that leave just enough to your interpretation.
I've never been a big adventure game fan, I've never played any of the loved early 90's array like Monkey Island, day of the tentacle, leisure suit Larry and so on and on and on. It doesn't matter here though. It's hard to really explain the game without spoiling it so I don't want to go in to too many details here, but that is making it hard to sell to you because I really think you should get it.
Out there somewhere
Back to the 19-39p 1 hour games (this is really starting to feel cheap now (as in time, not price (who cares about price, a games a game no matter the price (sounds like I'm defending the length now, which I sort of am, just criticising I'm including it as it looks like I'm trying to boost numbers)))) but there's a difference, it is worth the price this time. Sure, I wouldn't recommend it if it's £5 (ooh, back up to full price now, 79p!) but for the price that it was (and is), you should consider it. The mechanic here is teleportation, which is actually used quite well in a semi puzzle platformer way (like Defy gravity) but with a good mix of regular platforming in it too.
It was a lot harder than I expected, and given that it took me 78 minutes to complete (again, according to Steam) you can understand as they have to up the difficulty pretty darn (trying not to swear (despite the fact in RL ever third word is a swear word)) fast to make it challenging at all. The quick plot (obvs) is that you crashed your ship, on a planet inhibiting by mean bugs and friendly worms and have to get new power sauce (Ref Dwaft reference not a typo (though series 8 so hmm)) to get home. It plays fine, not spectacular, it's fun and there's even some not well hidden collectibles which could add another 20 minutes if you really wanted (where's the insert button on this thing, ballsed is up (ah, found it but nothings changing weirdly (could be bad for writing Oxenfree as I've actually wrote this first))). Give this one a go, why not at that price, it's above average.
My god I hope I can run Xcom 2, I'm 'psyched' for it but not sure my graphics card is up to snuff. There's week 4 first though, which as I referenced is full of frankly disappointing games. Still, just because of this blog I'm going to finish them anyway for some pointless reason, which I'd have given up on normally, and it's not even very often I give up on games anyway so shows the high levels of disappointment here. Oh, I also started the WWE 2K16 showcase this week but only played for about an hour (best of a bad bunch so far btw) so, as I'm already a ways in to this week I'll write up next week (yes, fixed the insert problem by refreshing the page so I won't have to leave in all the spelling and grammar errors, yet I'll leave the chatter in as it's seems like the mythology (yeah, excited for X files return) of this post. I wish I could get to sleep btw, I got about 4 hours sleep last night and now it's gone 1AM but can't get to sleep, stupid brain surgery, completely swapping directions from a week ago from a week or so ago where I was sleeping 12-14 hours a day (top tip, don't have it, it sucks, more info here http://andy8472.blogspot.co.uk/2015_10_01_archive.html and I'm still getting seizures, what a waste of a scarless head!). Oop. out of Jagermesiter and blackcurrant squash, better get another!
Completed
Transformers: Devastation
Unmechanical
Pneuma
Killzone: Shadow Fall
Killer Instinct
Teslagrad
Defy Gravity
Cibele
Oxenfree
Out There Somewhere
Underway
Xeodrifter
WWE 2K16
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